Update: Back to the writing board

It's been a few weeks, but the same day I sent my query and posted my last blog entry, I heard back from the agent. She thanked me for my candor and agreed with the other agents' thoughts on the setup of my book and passed on it as it's written now. (She didn't read the full I submitted; she passed based on the info I told her in my email.) I was afraid that would happen, and I was super bummed when I got the message. At first. But then something occurred to me, and I got hopeful again.

Here's an email I sent to a coworker/friend who also dreams of publishing a novel (the subject line read IDIOT!):

 

That’s me.

SHE PASSED. Sob!

I sat here, about ready to throw up, feeling so pissed at myself for being such a complete idiot, all those HOURS AND HOURS editing when I should have been rewriting, berating myself mercilessly that I’ve had three agents interested and then reject it because of my setup.

I was all, “That’s IT! I’m done. I’m a failure. F%&* it!”

And then I recalled the part of her email that said if I wanted to rework it, to be free to come back her way.

That, my friend, is an R&R.

So, putting the quote on my wall into action – “To get what you want, you have to do what it takes” – I pulled myself up and IMMEDIATELY started drafting up notes about how I can get [my characters] to connect.

And I think I’ve got it.

Here we go again …

Yep, I'm back to the rewriting stage, but I'm excited about it. And I can't regret the path I took in submitting this project as is, because I may not have come up with the same rewrite notes six or seven months ago when I embarked on my fifth edit. Plus, if I had submitted without mentioning the feedback, chances are I would have received the same feedback again and a closed door. As it is, I have an invitation not just to re-query, but to resubmit.

I responded to the agent with the following:

Thanks for your message, ((agent name)). I was afraid that would happen, but I just couldn't, with good conscience, not mention the feedback I'd recently received.

 

I hope to query you with an updated version in the months ahead.

 

Warm regards,

 

To which she replied, "Take your time. Would love to see when done!"

 

I've been letting things simmer for a bit, jotting down notes and scenarios as they pop into my head, and I think I'm finally ready to jump in. I'm hoping the rewrite goes as smoothly as it's been going in my head (HA!).

 

It's out!

Whew! I finally got my full submitted. I wish I could relax, but right now I'm a nervous wreck. Because I was honest with this agent about some feedback I received, and I'm so worried that she'll change her mind.

But honesty's the best policy, right? RIGHT?

Ugh.

What I was afraid of was that I'd keep quiet about the agent feedback and send out the full and then receive the same feedback and the door would shut and that'd be that.

What I was hoping was that this agent would still read my ms, and if she ends up agreeing with the other agents, she might respond with an R&R rather than a flat-out rejection.

But what do I know!?

I'm sick to my stomach that I may have possibly given this agent an out before she's even read one word.

The nice thing is that she followed up with me regarding her initial request, and I told her I was editing based on a comment an agent just made (he had my first three chapters and synopsis). She was fine with waiting. I felt that the follow-up was a good sign. Have I just blown it now? WITH HONESTY?!

Or should I have just taken the agents' advice and simply revised the ms? Well, I might have, but I got the second feedback two days after I got the full request. I really wasn't sure how to handle it.

Obviously.

There's nothing I can do right now, so I should just sign off and get some sleep. If she passes, she passes, and I'll know there's a flaw in my ms that is going to continue to keep it from getting repped. If she still decides to give it a read, I'll do a happy dance and chill the heck out!

Oh, and those five emails that I'd been ignoring? They became 13 by the time I read them. One was the follow-up from the agent who now has my full, three were newsletters (two from agencies, one from WD), and the rest were rejections. But I must say, this was the NICEST group of rejections I think I've ever gotten. I'll share tidbits another time; right now I need to get away from the computer and breathe.

Wish me luck!!

Burnt. Out.

Have you ever decided you were going to do something, like, say, work out, and you jump into it full force and you work out every day and you're totally into it and you're enjoying it ... but then you start to get a little sore and it becomes less fun and starts being annoying and you don't look forward to your workout times anymore and then it's all a pain in your @$$?

Yeah. I think I did that with my querying.

Okay, no, it's not a pain in my at-sign-double-dollar-sign, but I think I've burnt myself out. Any free moment I had, if I wasn't actually sending out queries, I was researching agents - reading their agency websites, taking notes about their clients, making sure I understood their submission requirements. Not only did I query dozens of agents (I may even have sent queries to some of their office pets just to cover all my bases), but I also started following any agents on my query list who are on Twitter and a few who have Facebook pages, and then I also started following publishing magazines and websites, and before I knew it, I was drowning in the literary/publishing business.

And it started to become less fun.

Even going through my ms again is becoming drudgery. I still have that full request hanging out there, but I got some feedback from an agent who requested a partial, so I'm trying to spiff it up before I send it out, but editing TAKES FOREVER!

I'm not sure I conveyed that properly.

EDITING TAKES FOREVER!!!!!

Okay. Better.

I'm not giving up. But I am taking it down a notch. Because girlfriend went a little nuts.

I knew there was a problem when my Yahoo email indicator indicated that I had a new email waiting for me, and I couldn't bring myself to look at it. (I have a Yahoo email account set up just for queries, so I know it's query related.) For five days now, the indicator has been telling me that I have five new emails, and ... I. Can't. Look.

Hopefully in the next couple days I'll get my full sent out, and then Ima chill for a bit. The agency wants a seven- to eight-week exclusive anyway, so that'll be a nice excuse to take a step back. Enjoy the last few weeks of summer. Hang out with my kids. READ A BOOK!

I have a couple other ideas that I'd like to start working on as well, though right now, the idea of outlining and writing a first draft is a bit overwhelming. Like, sickeningly overwhelming. It's a lot of work.

Why do I put myself through this? I could walk away from this whole thing right now. I don't HAVE to write anymore stories.

But I do.

Another request!

So. I was feeling discouraged, burnt out, a little query fatigued. I was still irked about the rejection I mentioned the other day, though I know I shouldn't take it so personally. Agents don't owe us any explanations, and I should just be happy to have an answer. (Still. Can't it be a nice-ish answer?) (Okay, let's not get me started.)

I sent out a few queries this afternoon. An agent tweeted about the summer being a slower time for her, so if anyone was thinking about querying her, they should do it. She happened to be on my list, so I sent my query out. A couple hours later, her name showed up in my inbox, and I thought, "Oh, great! The person who proclaimed that she has lots of time to read queries/pages has decided to not even read mine!" But nope ... it was her auto-response. Whew!

Then, an hour or so later, I got an email from an agent I had just queried a couple hours earlier. I've had experience with some super-quick rejections, so I opened the message with some trepidation.

"This sounds so wonderful ..." it began, and my rejection-addled brain finished the sentence for me "... but it's just not right for my list."

But wait. That's not what it said.

Not " ... but I'm not the right agent."

Not " ... but I'm going to pass."

It said, "... and we're very happy to consider."

Honestly, I was a bit too stunned to do anything for a bit. Then I realized.

I just got a request for my full manuscript.

Well ... that's good. (See? I told you I was stunned.)

After I finally got up to speed, I was excited and thrilled. And I AM excited and thrilled. Someone not only liked my idea, but also liked the way I presented it enough to want to invest some time and consider my full manuscript!

So. Happy.

But with an ever-present low hum of anxiety. Sigh.

Once I hit "Send" it's out of my control. I'm just going to be positive and enjoy this ride and give it my very best.

"Not for us, thanks."

That was it. That's all it said.

I don't know about you, but that irked me.

Yes, I KNOW that literary agents are beyond busy. And I KNOW that their first priority is with their current clients. And I also can imagine how tiring it must be to slog through dozens and dozens of email submissions from wannabes like me.

But four words? That's all you can muster in response to my query? The query that I spent several days researching, editing, proofreading ... and then several more days researching, editing and proofreading again?

Rejections suck, but those kind words written by several other agents reminding me that the profession is subjective and that I should persevere and find an agent who is enthusiastic about my work and will champion it as it should be championed? They help. Even though I know it's a form, the words are kind, and they anticipate that I'm going to be disappointed and they try to soften the blow.

Maybe I'm just being oversensitive because I've had about six rejections this week. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

Partial request!

I got online tonight to post my query score card, but when my home page came up, my little Yahoo mail indicator showed that I had two new emails. One was an auto-response and the other? A partial request! Finally!

I'm excited but so incredibly nervous. It's out of my control, so I just need to do my very best and put it out there and let the chips fall where they may. I think I'm just afraid to get my hopes up.

BTW, the score card: 35 queries out, 11 rejections, 1 partial request.

Break time

Okay, I just checked my Query Tracker list, and I have 36 queries out. This weekend, when there was a free moment, I was on this computer researching; then last night, I did a querying blitz of sorts. I realized, however, that I shouldn't be sending out huge batches at one time; what if I get some feedback that makes  my query or my synopsis or my story better? Then I've got all these other queries out there that won't have the benefit of becoming better.

So, I'm going to take a break from the actual sending. I'll still cull my list of agents, including the ones who rejected my ms during the first go-round. Most of the agents I queried stated that they definitely respond, usually between four and eight weeks. Now that the holiday weekend is done, I hope to hear back from a few within the next couple weeks.

...Sheepish...

Okay, after my last post, I have to say ... taking my synopsis (the synopsis I thought was in good shape) and trying to cull it down to one paragraph revealed the wordiness for which I'm known. I was able to take my nine-paragraph synopsis and cut it down to six: two paragraphs per main character.

So ... I'm glad I didn't just dismiss that particular agency - I got each main character down to one paragraph. I think, however, that I'll still use the longer one as my standard synopsis.

One paragraph synopsis?!

Are they kidding?

Eat, drink, sleep ... queries!

Agh! It seems that all I'm doing lately, when there is any type of downtime, is either researching agents or querying agents.

If I take a break and, say, watch something on foodnetwork.com, I feel like I should be querying.

If I'm querying, I feel like I should be doing laundry/cleaning something.

The only thing I don't feel guilty for doing instead of querying is hanging out with my kiddos.

But as soon as they're in bed or occupied by something else: laptop and query sites.

Sigh.

But I'm not ready to give up yet. I really don't want to think about there being a day when I give up. Though I do understand it's a real possibility.

And if that happens, it'll be time to work on my next manuscript ... I'm thinking about stepping into the YA genre. I have a super basic outline ready, but knowing the time and effort that has gone into my current novel, sometimes my stomach ties in knots thinking about what's ahead of me with a new one. The one thing going for me is that I've learned SO much during the last few years, and hopefully that will make the next project a bit easier.

Onward ...

Doubled my queries

I was able to double my queries by sending out 12 today! That was exciting. It's nice to take that time to take notes and have a list of query-ready agents along with their submission guidelines on hand. Then, at one time, I can send a bunch out and feel super productive.

With a few of the agents who were C/NR during my last round, I was able to do additional research on the literary agency and ended up finding other agents that may be a better match. I came across three completely new-to-me agents, and a couple that were a bit elusive: no email addresses, no guidelines, no one is really sure how to find them, and their agency's website just shows an error message - even though different agent sites state they actively accept queries. I get leery about there being no info out there, but I guess it's not a requirement for agencies to a have websites, blogs, Twitter accounts, etc. We'll see what happens.

I did get a rejection right before I signed on to write this post from a very popular agent/agency. Form rejection. Sigh.

So that's three rejections so far. And 24 queries still out there ...

Stoooopid mistakes!

So ... as I'm getting some email queries sent out today, I realize that my sample pages have some bold formatting that won't matter since my email is plain text. I decide to use all caps to set off these subheadings rather than bold, and as I'm putting the letters in all caps, I notice a huge mistake. A dumb mistake. A big, huge, dumb mistake.

Before this last edit, my story had four main characters. The title of the book referred to these four characters and had the word four in it, and a couple of the section headings included the word four.

I recognized that my ms was just too long (120,000 words), so I made the decision to cut out one of the characters completely, which meant the name of book needed to change to include the word three rather than four.

Can you see where I made my mistake?

I never changed the "four" references in the section headings to "three." So ridiculous.

Imagine you're an agent ... after reading a query about three main characters and then a synopsis about three main characters, you then see a section heading that reads: Four First Days. What the? It makes no sense whatsoever.

Remember when I was talking about querying agents who mostly likely would never get back to me? At the time I remember wondering why I was taking the time to query agents who seemed super unlikely to really give me a chance. And now I know. So I can fix my mistakes in these first few queries (odd formatting, wrong words, etc.), and then send awesome queries from here on out.

One agent I recently queried mentioned on Twitter that out of the last 10 queries she's received, only three followed the guidelines somewhat, and the rest weren't even close. I did a quick review in my head about my query and then figured I did it right.

But then today, again, as I'm sending out emails, I realize that she asked for the first chapter and I sent out the first SECTION (which is three chapters). Sigh.

This is my second time around. You'd think I'd be better at this. 

Why do I put myself through this?!

'Cause deep down it's exciting, and pursuing your dream is fun.

Wah-wah-wah ...

Got another rejection today. Sigh.

(paraphrasing) "After reading your query letter, I just wasn't interested enough to want to ask for more."

Okay, that's fair. She continues with the reminder that the business is very subjective and someone else may think differently, and she encourages me to continue querying and working on my next book (because this one apparently sucks!) :) Just kidding.

So ... for those keeping score, that's 12 queries sent so far and two rejections received.

I didn't get any queries out today at all. I guess I could sign out of this blog and send one out before going to bed. I had such a busy day at work (I'm a proofreader/editor) that the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was work on the computer. So, I checked Twitter and Facebook and a blog I like to read, then that was about it.

But tomorrow is a new day! Onward ...

Yikes! Inconsistent submission requirements ...

I sent out two more queries yesterday and did research on about four or five agents. I found three instances where Agent Query mentioned an agent that I didn't find on Query Tracker, which I found really odd. So I looked up the agency itself on QT, and it was listed there, just with different agents.

I wasn't sure if this was because it just happened that no one on QT queried these particular agents or maybe information on AQ is out of date. The "missing" agents were listed on their respective agency websites and appeared to be actively accepting queries, so it just seems so strange to me that they aren't listed on QT.

One agent/agency had a very basic one-page website with submission guidelines that requested an email query with sample pages included as an attachment of no more than 25 pages. I was delighted by this because by attaching Word documents, I could ensure formatting wouldn't get messed up like it can when I paste pages into an email. However, further research on AQ and Publisher's Marketplace reveal that only a query should be submitted, no sample pages at all, not even pasted into the message. Sigh.

So, then I'm questioning ... what do I do? The agent's OWN site says to send attachments, but these other sites state "no attachments." I've decided to err on the side of caution and will not send any sample pages to this agent.

Another agent's bio stated that she only accepts snail mail queries. That's fine, I made note of it. But then on the agency's site, she's listed in the drop-down of the agency's online form used to submit queries electronically. Again, heaving a sigh.

This is why I don't go willy-nilly into the night sending email queries as fast as my fingers can type.

Query irritation

Well, I haven't gotten out as many queries as I would have liked to by now ... and I'm disgruntled by the ones I've sent out recently.

I've sent queries to two agents who are renowned non-responders. If you check the comments on Query Tracker for these agents, it's one C/NR after another. In fact, one of these agents is listed in the number one spot in the top 10 non-responding agents.

I also sent a query to someone who is listed among the top 10 most rejecting agents.

(Of course, these lists are based solely on data taken from Query Tracker and may not represent the agents overall, but still ...)

I just sent a query out to an agent who was very particular in her submission guidelines regarding how the query should be formatted, etc. When I checked my sent folder, my email program changed the font for the body of the email to a sans serif font, while the salutation was left in a serif font.

!!! 

Why this happened only in the email to the agent who was very specific, I'll never know. What I do know is that it ended up looking incredibly cheesy and ridiculous, so I'm not expecting much from that one.

So, I've submitted eight queries so far and had one rejection. I sent out close to 40 queries the first time around, so I still have a lot of work ahead of me. I think I'm just in a "self-loathing" phase right now.

A year or so ago, I was doing some writing at the same time as my good friend Steph, and we would talk about how, some days, we just felt so ON, so good about what we were writing, and then other days - i.e., the self-loathing days - we'd start doubting what we were doing, wondering why we even thought we had talent.

Steph's done the whole query process thing, with the full requests and the R&Rs and the rejections and all that. I think she has three books written, but right now, she's rockin' out as a world-famous* photographer.

So anyway, yeah ... feeling a couple notches down from hopeful right now, but I know it's only a phase and I'll snap out of it soon enough.

*Okay, so maybe not WORLD-famous. Yet.

Rejection

Got my first rejection this morning ... the odd thing is that it was from the agent who said she was really behind in her queries, and she responded to me in less than 24 hours. Sigh.

Ugh ... Part 2

I worked on the synopsis on and off throughout the day and finally have a decent draft finished. Since it's almost 1 a.m., I'm going to save it and take it back out tomorrow for a fresh reading. Once I have it in good shape, I can query four agents from my list.

Why is it so hard to write a synopsis!?

Again, as with my query, I kept hearing Janet Reid's voice (QueryShark) asking questions as I typed. SO helpful! (I hope!) 

I sent a query today to one of the agents that I previously mentioned as specifically looking for women's fiction, but she tweeted a day or so ago that she's very behind on queries right now. Also, I'm still on the fence about re-querying agents who rejected my previous manuscript. If they rejected it because of its high word count, the edited ms is almost 30,000 words shorter, which might make them more inclined to take a closer look.

I also have on my list a couple agents who are notorious non-responders. But how can you skip them? If they rep your genre and are open to unsolicited queries, you just have to give it a try, I say.

Ugh ...

Synopsis.

Excitement re: notification about email

I was pretty excited the other day when I got online, and my yahoo email icon indicated that I had an email waiting for me. Wow ... a response already, with only three queries sent? I tried not to get my hopes up and logged into my email account.

It was a literary agency's e-newsletter that I signed up for sometime last year. Sigh.

Well, I'm back from vacation and have a good list of agents to query. I also just came across two agents (both of whom I'm familiar with from my first go-round as well as social media) who specifically mentioned wanting to see women's fiction, so I'll be sending those queries out tomorrow sometime.

One more down ... and a list

I was able to get one more out before leaving on vacation, and I have a list of agents for researching. I think I'm going to re-query the agents that were "no response" last time. I'm not sure about re-querying the ones who rejected me last time. Advice? It's been over a year, and my manuscript is about 28,000 words lighter, so it may have a better chance.

Hopefully I can get a little list of agents ready while I'm on vacation and then submit like crazy when I get back home. My research process:

1) On Agent Query, note the agents who are open to unsolicited queries and represent women's fiction
2) Search the agent on Query Tracker and add to My Query List
3) Go to the agency website and take notes about any interesting tidbits about the company (when opened, client list, owner, etc.)
4) Go to the agent's bio and take notes about any interesting tidbits about the agent
5) If there are links to interviews or articles about the agent, read those and note what he/she says about manuscripts, queries, etc. 
6) Take notes regarding the agency/agent submission requirements, email address and response times

It takes a long time to do all this, but I just like being armed with this information. I have a spiral notebook full of notes, then I write a big SENT with the date toward the bottom of the page. Last time, when I got a rejection, I put a big, fat R over the whole page. :) I'm hoping I won't have many of those this time!

Two down ...

Well, I sent out the first two queries yesterday to agents who were listed as new agents in tweets by Writer's Digest. They both specifically listed women's fiction, which is always good (as opposed to general commercial fiction). I read interviews they each gave, and they seem super cool. I read through their client lists, but didn't recognize anyone outright. I love checking out those lists because - hurray! - new authors to read!

One thing: My novel is about first-time mothers, and one character's baby has the same name as one of the agents I queried last night. Will that be weird? I didn't do it as a ploy, it's just coincidence. And she's a good baby, not a villain, so there's that. :)

Anyway, two down ... who knows how many to go. I'd like to keep a steady schedule of querying, maybe one a day? Two? I'll just have to play it by ear.

Here we go again!

This is a beginning twice ...

1) Writing the first post of a new blog (my old blog www.foodasfrenemy.blogspot.com has been gathering dust since I became more serious about finishing my manuscript)

2) Beginning a second attempt to obtain representation for my manuscript

I've just completed the fifth edit on my manuscript. (I promise every paragraph in my blog will not have the word "manuscript" in it.) The fifth and most brutal. I'd heard the phrase "kill your darlings" many times, but this time I lived it. It's rough.

(Manuscript!) (Just messing with you.) I've also read the advice to put your first novel in a drawer and forget about it while you write your "real" books, the ones with a slightly better chance of being published.

While I do have a couple other ideas rolling around in my brain, I'm just not ready to give up on this one yet. It's still too darling. I don't feel like I've given it every chance yet. This last edit, as I mentioned, was a doozy, but it may be just what my novel needed to get a little more attention.

During my first go-round with the query process, my manuscript was at just over 120,000 words. This is too long for women's fiction, but I plowed ahead anyway. (My first draft was 145,000! I'm a bit wordy.) Now, it's 92,500, a mite too long maybe, but much better.

And I've learned so much about writing query letters, particularly from one Janet Reid of FinePrint Literary Management and her blog QueryShark (http://queryshark.blogspot.com/). I devoured those blog posts and took copious notes. I had Ms. Reid's voice in my head asking questions and making comments as I typed and edited my query ... "Why does THAT matter?" "Yeah, but what CHOICE does she have to make?" "Too much detail! Delete that!"

In fact, I submitted my query to QueryShark in the hopes that I can have the real Ms. Reid comment on it, though hopefully not rip it to shreds. Though, if it needs ripping, so be it. I'm totally open to learning, which in turn will just help me become a better writer.

I've started researching agents (using wonderful tools like Agent Query and Query Tracker), and I have a couple new agents that I'm going to start with.

Wish me luck!