Burnt. Out.

Have you ever decided you were going to do something, like, say, work out, and you jump into it full force and you work out every day and you're totally into it and you're enjoying it ... but then you start to get a little sore and it becomes less fun and starts being annoying and you don't look forward to your workout times anymore and then it's all a pain in your @$$?

Yeah. I think I did that with my querying.

Okay, no, it's not a pain in my at-sign-double-dollar-sign, but I think I've burnt myself out. Any free moment I had, if I wasn't actually sending out queries, I was researching agents - reading their agency websites, taking notes about their clients, making sure I understood their submission requirements. Not only did I query dozens of agents (I may even have sent queries to some of their office pets just to cover all my bases), but I also started following any agents on my query list who are on Twitter and a few who have Facebook pages, and then I also started following publishing magazines and websites, and before I knew it, I was drowning in the literary/publishing business.

And it started to become less fun.

Even going through my ms again is becoming drudgery. I still have that full request hanging out there, but I got some feedback from an agent who requested a partial, so I'm trying to spiff it up before I send it out, but editing TAKES FOREVER!

I'm not sure I conveyed that properly.

EDITING TAKES FOREVER!!!!!

Okay. Better.

I'm not giving up. But I am taking it down a notch. Because girlfriend went a little nuts.

I knew there was a problem when my Yahoo email indicator indicated that I had a new email waiting for me, and I couldn't bring myself to look at it. (I have a Yahoo email account set up just for queries, so I know it's query related.) For five days now, the indicator has been telling me that I have five new emails, and ... I. Can't. Look.

Hopefully in the next couple days I'll get my full sent out, and then Ima chill for a bit. The agency wants a seven- to eight-week exclusive anyway, so that'll be a nice excuse to take a step back. Enjoy the last few weeks of summer. Hang out with my kids. READ A BOOK!

I have a couple other ideas that I'd like to start working on as well, though right now, the idea of outlining and writing a first draft is a bit overwhelming. Like, sickeningly overwhelming. It's a lot of work.

Why do I put myself through this? I could walk away from this whole thing right now. I don't HAVE to write anymore stories.

But I do.

Another request!

So. I was feeling discouraged, burnt out, a little query fatigued. I was still irked about the rejection I mentioned the other day, though I know I shouldn't take it so personally. Agents don't owe us any explanations, and I should just be happy to have an answer. (Still. Can't it be a nice-ish answer?) (Okay, let's not get me started.)

I sent out a few queries this afternoon. An agent tweeted about the summer being a slower time for her, so if anyone was thinking about querying her, they should do it. She happened to be on my list, so I sent my query out. A couple hours later, her name showed up in my inbox, and I thought, "Oh, great! The person who proclaimed that she has lots of time to read queries/pages has decided to not even read mine!" But nope ... it was her auto-response. Whew!

Then, an hour or so later, I got an email from an agent I had just queried a couple hours earlier. I've had experience with some super-quick rejections, so I opened the message with some trepidation.

"This sounds so wonderful ..." it began, and my rejection-addled brain finished the sentence for me "... but it's just not right for my list."

But wait. That's not what it said.

Not " ... but I'm not the right agent."

Not " ... but I'm going to pass."

It said, "... and we're very happy to consider."

Honestly, I was a bit too stunned to do anything for a bit. Then I realized.

I just got a request for my full manuscript.

Well ... that's good. (See? I told you I was stunned.)

After I finally got up to speed, I was excited and thrilled. And I AM excited and thrilled. Someone not only liked my idea, but also liked the way I presented it enough to want to invest some time and consider my full manuscript!

So. Happy.

But with an ever-present low hum of anxiety. Sigh.

Once I hit "Send" it's out of my control. I'm just going to be positive and enjoy this ride and give it my very best.

"Not for us, thanks."

That was it. That's all it said.

I don't know about you, but that irked me.

Yes, I KNOW that literary agents are beyond busy. And I KNOW that their first priority is with their current clients. And I also can imagine how tiring it must be to slog through dozens and dozens of email submissions from wannabes like me.

But four words? That's all you can muster in response to my query? The query that I spent several days researching, editing, proofreading ... and then several more days researching, editing and proofreading again?

Rejections suck, but those kind words written by several other agents reminding me that the profession is subjective and that I should persevere and find an agent who is enthusiastic about my work and will champion it as it should be championed? They help. Even though I know it's a form, the words are kind, and they anticipate that I'm going to be disappointed and they try to soften the blow.

Maybe I'm just being oversensitive because I've had about six rejections this week. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

Partial request!

I got online tonight to post my query score card, but when my home page came up, my little Yahoo mail indicator showed that I had two new emails. One was an auto-response and the other? A partial request! Finally!

I'm excited but so incredibly nervous. It's out of my control, so I just need to do my very best and put it out there and let the chips fall where they may. I think I'm just afraid to get my hopes up.

BTW, the score card: 35 queries out, 11 rejections, 1 partial request.

Break time

Okay, I just checked my Query Tracker list, and I have 36 queries out. This weekend, when there was a free moment, I was on this computer researching; then last night, I did a querying blitz of sorts. I realized, however, that I shouldn't be sending out huge batches at one time; what if I get some feedback that makes  my query or my synopsis or my story better? Then I've got all these other queries out there that won't have the benefit of becoming better.

So, I'm going to take a break from the actual sending. I'll still cull my list of agents, including the ones who rejected my ms during the first go-round. Most of the agents I queried stated that they definitely respond, usually between four and eight weeks. Now that the holiday weekend is done, I hope to hear back from a few within the next couple weeks.

...Sheepish...

Okay, after my last post, I have to say ... taking my synopsis (the synopsis I thought was in good shape) and trying to cull it down to one paragraph revealed the wordiness for which I'm known. I was able to take my nine-paragraph synopsis and cut it down to six: two paragraphs per main character.

So ... I'm glad I didn't just dismiss that particular agency - I got each main character down to one paragraph. I think, however, that I'll still use the longer one as my standard synopsis.

One paragraph synopsis?!

Are they kidding?

Eat, drink, sleep ... queries!

Agh! It seems that all I'm doing lately, when there is any type of downtime, is either researching agents or querying agents.

If I take a break and, say, watch something on foodnetwork.com, I feel like I should be querying.

If I'm querying, I feel like I should be doing laundry/cleaning something.

The only thing I don't feel guilty for doing instead of querying is hanging out with my kiddos.

But as soon as they're in bed or occupied by something else: laptop and query sites.

Sigh.

But I'm not ready to give up yet. I really don't want to think about there being a day when I give up. Though I do understand it's a real possibility.

And if that happens, it'll be time to work on my next manuscript ... I'm thinking about stepping into the YA genre. I have a super basic outline ready, but knowing the time and effort that has gone into my current novel, sometimes my stomach ties in knots thinking about what's ahead of me with a new one. The one thing going for me is that I've learned SO much during the last few years, and hopefully that will make the next project a bit easier.

Onward ...

Doubled my queries

I was able to double my queries by sending out 12 today! That was exciting. It's nice to take that time to take notes and have a list of query-ready agents along with their submission guidelines on hand. Then, at one time, I can send a bunch out and feel super productive.

With a few of the agents who were C/NR during my last round, I was able to do additional research on the literary agency and ended up finding other agents that may be a better match. I came across three completely new-to-me agents, and a couple that were a bit elusive: no email addresses, no guidelines, no one is really sure how to find them, and their agency's website just shows an error message - even though different agent sites state they actively accept queries. I get leery about there being no info out there, but I guess it's not a requirement for agencies to a have websites, blogs, Twitter accounts, etc. We'll see what happens.

I did get a rejection right before I signed on to write this post from a very popular agent/agency. Form rejection. Sigh.

So that's three rejections so far. And 24 queries still out there ...

Stoooopid mistakes!

So ... as I'm getting some email queries sent out today, I realize that my sample pages have some bold formatting that won't matter since my email is plain text. I decide to use all caps to set off these subheadings rather than bold, and as I'm putting the letters in all caps, I notice a huge mistake. A dumb mistake. A big, huge, dumb mistake.

Before this last edit, my story had four main characters. The title of the book referred to these four characters and had the word four in it, and a couple of the section headings included the word four.

I recognized that my ms was just too long (120,000 words), so I made the decision to cut out one of the characters completely, which meant the name of book needed to change to include the word three rather than four.

Can you see where I made my mistake?

I never changed the "four" references in the section headings to "three." So ridiculous.

Imagine you're an agent ... after reading a query about three main characters and then a synopsis about three main characters, you then see a section heading that reads: Four First Days. What the? It makes no sense whatsoever.

Remember when I was talking about querying agents who mostly likely would never get back to me? At the time I remember wondering why I was taking the time to query agents who seemed super unlikely to really give me a chance. And now I know. So I can fix my mistakes in these first few queries (odd formatting, wrong words, etc.), and then send awesome queries from here on out.

One agent I recently queried mentioned on Twitter that out of the last 10 queries she's received, only three followed the guidelines somewhat, and the rest weren't even close. I did a quick review in my head about my query and then figured I did it right.

But then today, again, as I'm sending out emails, I realize that she asked for the first chapter and I sent out the first SECTION (which is three chapters). Sigh.

This is my second time around. You'd think I'd be better at this. 

Why do I put myself through this?!

'Cause deep down it's exciting, and pursuing your dream is fun.

Wah-wah-wah ...

Got another rejection today. Sigh.

(paraphrasing) "After reading your query letter, I just wasn't interested enough to want to ask for more."

Okay, that's fair. She continues with the reminder that the business is very subjective and someone else may think differently, and she encourages me to continue querying and working on my next book (because this one apparently sucks!) :) Just kidding.

So ... for those keeping score, that's 12 queries sent so far and two rejections received.

I didn't get any queries out today at all. I guess I could sign out of this blog and send one out before going to bed. I had such a busy day at work (I'm a proofreader/editor) that the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was work on the computer. So, I checked Twitter and Facebook and a blog I like to read, then that was about it.

But tomorrow is a new day! Onward ...

Yikes! Inconsistent submission requirements ...

I sent out two more queries yesterday and did research on about four or five agents. I found three instances where Agent Query mentioned an agent that I didn't find on Query Tracker, which I found really odd. So I looked up the agency itself on QT, and it was listed there, just with different agents.

I wasn't sure if this was because it just happened that no one on QT queried these particular agents or maybe information on AQ is out of date. The "missing" agents were listed on their respective agency websites and appeared to be actively accepting queries, so it just seems so strange to me that they aren't listed on QT.

One agent/agency had a very basic one-page website with submission guidelines that requested an email query with sample pages included as an attachment of no more than 25 pages. I was delighted by this because by attaching Word documents, I could ensure formatting wouldn't get messed up like it can when I paste pages into an email. However, further research on AQ and Publisher's Marketplace reveal that only a query should be submitted, no sample pages at all, not even pasted into the message. Sigh.

So, then I'm questioning ... what do I do? The agent's OWN site says to send attachments, but these other sites state "no attachments." I've decided to err on the side of caution and will not send any sample pages to this agent.

Another agent's bio stated that she only accepts snail mail queries. That's fine, I made note of it. But then on the agency's site, she's listed in the drop-down of the agency's online form used to submit queries electronically. Again, heaving a sigh.

This is why I don't go willy-nilly into the night sending email queries as fast as my fingers can type.