Here ... we ... go ...

OK ... the query process has begun. After an AMAZINGLY THOUGHTFUL pep talk by my talented writer friend, I got over myself and dove in.

I've enjoyed the agent research process so far (plus, it leads me to new authors to read!). I have seven agents on my list so far. Last night, I enthusiastically added agent #8 but then found an article she wrote in which she mentioned things she's not looking for, i.e., don't bother to send these to her.

The first thing - didn't apply. OK, good ... Next thing - yep, still didn't apply, I'm golden. And then ... "books written in present tense." Oops! Didn't see that one coming! :) Happy I did the research. That would have been embarrassing, not to mention a waste of her time.

So ... I'll continue to research and send out queries. I'm also planning to indulge in some summertime reading (without the "if I have time to read, I have time to write" guilt), and get some notes in place about my next idea.

What is my next idea? Not sure yet ... snippets of something have been zinging around in my brain for the last few weeks. Plus, I have a complete women's fiction ms and partially complete women's fiction ms that I'd love to rework/finish someday. 

Wish me luck!

First query out!

My gosh, it took me forever to get just one query out! I'm not sure why the change ... with my last ms I was a querying fool (emphasis on fool, probably), but this time around, I'm so much more ... cautious? Is that the word I want to use?

In the past few days, many times I felt like "OMGsh, my ms sucks, no one's going to want to read it, it's not going to go anywhere, what was I thinking!?!" But I finally told myself, "You can't just give up and not even try." Today was the first time I truly felt that fear of failure thing. While I'm drafting my story and editing my story and revising my story, my hopes and dreams are still alive and well, living in the "someday" in the back of my mind. But once I offer it up and get REJECTED ... sigh. That's in-your-face type stuff right there.

What's worse? I didn't succeed because I never tried (I may have made it but I'll never know), or I tried but I didn't succeed (i.e., I FAILED)?

I'll just have to do my best and see what happens.

I do think that is a major difference between this story and my first one: I feel like I've done my best. I've read and re-read and edited and revised ... and the story fell into place for me. I forced things to work with my first story, so querying never felt quite right. I pretty much threw queries to anyone with a literary agency email address but had an underlying lack of confidence. I loved the characters, but I don't think I told their story properly.

I feel like I told my new characters' stories properly. I really like this ms. I'm proud of it. And I didn't rush into querying. I edited and polished until I had it as clean as I could get it.

Though, of course, as I was doing some formatting today, I came across an errant apostrophe s ... I mean, really? How did I continuously miss that!?

And then, as I was personalizing my basic query letter for my second query, I noticed a missing "to" ... ARGH!!!! Do you know how many times I read this query copy? And my brain, thinking it was being helpful and efficient, just inserted that "to" for me every time?

Sigh.

But at least I caught it after only one query and not after I sent out five or six.

I've researched and kept seven agents on my list so far. That is definitely adding more time this time around ... narrowing down the massive "represents YA" list to those who may be interested in reading my particular manuscript.

So, first query is out.

Submission guidelines for two agents on my list include a synopsis, so that's my next undertaking.

I'll do my best.

So close ...

I've been taking advantage of the long holiday weekend (and my kiddos' desire to just stay home, lie around and chill) to complete the final edits. The main edit is done, and now I'm finishing up the search and deletion/revision of filler words - really, very, that, etc.

The surprising thing is I've cut almost 150 words just with this final clean-up. Impressive. And depressing, for two reasons:

1) Why do I put all that fluff in there to begin with?
2) It brought my ms under 62,000 words. I liked being just over 62,000 words. It felt good. For some reason, 61,900-something just doesn't have the same zing.

I know. I'm weird.

I'm assuming I'll be done (are we ever really "done"?) today. I'll allow myself about five minutes to celebrate before I get to work on a redraft of my query letter. I got some amazing advice from a good friend and great writer ( http://purdyandwordy.com/my-books/ ) so I'll be diving back into that.

I have a short list ready for some initial queries. It'd been awhile since I was on Query Tracker, and I was overwhelmed at first. How did I research agents before? How did I narrow the list down? I remembered using Agent Query as well, but now did I reconcile between the two sites?

Eventually, it all came back to me, and out of an initial list of 17 agents who represent YA, I have seven to query and two to possibly query. And I just noticed as I was counting up how many agents I have listed that one of them requires a synopsis. Sigh.

I mentioned in a tweet that new story ideas have been popping up in my head the last few weeks. It's exciting and overwhelming. Starting again with a blank page and crafting a new story? Whew. But I've done it twice so far. And I love it.

Rough drafts = Yoda-speak

OK, so ... I'm editing this weekend (HURRAY!) - and killing it, I might add - when I discovered this gem in my copy:

“So … who are you to your prom going with?”

Wow. Really?  

A fine example of the brain working faster than fingers can type. And a lesson on how careful proofreading can help you avoid embarrassingly mangled dialogue such as this. 

Unless, of course, you actually are writing a story about Yoda in high school. 

OK, where was I?

Remember back, over a month ago, when I was full of great editing ideas and had conflicts and choices and consequences pouring from my brain?

Well, life got in the way, and I just opened my ms and was all, "Huh?"

Dammit. That stinks. Got to get that momentum back.

Luckily, I'm an obsessive note-taker, so I'll get back on track.

(It didn't help that I just spent an hour getting some random person's email and phone number off my Blogger/Google account. GRRR.)

It also doesn't help when I'm feeling so burnt out that I can't even think of staring at my computer screen for a moment longer. (I'm a proofreader/editor by day.) But those times that I've persevered and powered through that feeling have been some of my most productive edits.

So ... I'll wrap this up because there is no work assignment waiting, no kid activity to go to, no Red Wings game on TV ...

Query letters ... sigh

I have such a love/hate relationship with query letters.

I love them because writing one shows me where my story is lacking.

I hate them because writing one shows me where my story is lacking.

And that's where I am right now. I'd learn during my last ms to write out a draft query at the beginning of the writing process to ensure that my outline is on track.

The issue is that my story ended up taking some of its own twists and turns.

I think the most surprising thing for me now as I review choices and conflict and consequences is this: The character I'd assumed is my protagonist is NOT the protagonist.

Weird.

In fact, not only is she not the protagonist but she barely makes a decision for herself throughout the entire story.

And THAT is a surefire way to annoy every single reader and ensure no one gives a crap about her whatsoever.

Sigh.

The story is told in first person from two points of view. I'd figured she would be the "main" protagonist with the second person having his own decisions to make. Kind of two protagonists with their own stories that overlap, and each influencing the other's decisions.

But that's not really how it turned out. She influences him, and he definitely makes a decision. But any decisions she needed to make end up kind of being made for her. It's weird. And not what I meant to happen.

Not a deal-breaker. I can work with this. It was my first draft, after all. I didn't expect it to be perfect and submission ready right off the bat.

I'm back!

Wow ... it's been a long time since I've been here! Almost two years, is that right?

Well, the manuscript I was working on back then has become my "resting in a drawer" ms. I'd always heard that the first ms is often squirreled away, never to see the light of day, and it turns out to be true in my case.

In the end, the story didn't work. I tried to force characters into situations that didn't fit them, and the story ended up being dated and contrived.

Two agents read the whole thing: one read a very early (and I'm sure, truly awful) manuscript, and the second read the last version. She had some good things to say, but it was mostly bad news, and so I put it to bed.

One agent read a partial, and his main comment that stuck with me was that I tend to tell rather than show.

Ugh. I hate that.

But I do see it in all of my first drafts. I've discussed this with my writer friends. I tend to write down the scene as I picture it playing in my head, so a first draft of a scene is TEDIOUS with detail.

She stands up. 

She walks over to wear he's sitting. 

She puts one hand on her hip and says, .... 

BOOOOORING!

All that crap usually gets slashed during editing/rewriting.

I learned SO MUCH with that first ms.

This second one should be much, much better.

The second one is a genre I'd never thought I'd write: young adult. In between the first and this second complete ms, I toyed around with another story that never went anywhere. I had intended it to be another women's fiction, but the characters' voices felt very young to me.

So ... I changed gears. The characters in my new story are in high school/early college.

And it's kind of romance-y. I'm not sure I can call it a full-on "YA romance" but it has a romantic bent.

I officially typed the first draft's last words late last night.

I actually sat there in front of my computer for a couple of minutes, staring at the screen and wondering if I actually just completed it.

I did. :)

And now, I have lots of work ahead of me: editing, rewriting and agent research.

Of course, I'll query the agents who requested my ms in the past, assuming they represent YA.

But other than that, I have to start my agent list from scratch.

As for editing: I really need to look at my female lead's story ... I fear she's missing some tension, or maybe the tension that is there is resolved somewhat undramatically.

So, anyway ... I'm excited to have another ms finished. I've ridden the "Wow, I have some talent/Ugh, I'm a complete hack" roller coaster throughout the draft, and I'm sure I'll continue the ride during the editing process.

We'll see what happens ...